The God Damn World series.: A GTA Online photojournal

So I was kinda bored when my GTAO lobby emptied out. No big loss there, no one was on the mic, and more importantly, no one was doing anything profitable. So I grabbed a chopper and decided to try for the award for a 5-minute-long parachute ride.

I realized I probably couldn't get high enough to sail for five minutes from a helicopter, and I didn't feel like trying my luck at the military base, so just before I jumped, I decided I'd do a bit of a photojournal of my favorite free roam activity. It's a 3-stage jump from an aircraft to the maze bank tower, the tower to the construction site and the construction site to the street.

So without further ado, let's begin.

There really wasn't much to see yet- in the first photo, I'd just jumped from the chopper. In the second, I'd cleared the cloud layer and spotted the Vinewood sign spotlit in the far distance. It will become a hallmark of my little experiment.

Next was spotting my landing zone at the helipad on top of the Maze bank tower, and touching down.

Up to this point, everything was pretty ho hum. Maybe even slower than usual, since I spent all that time drifting trying to get the award when I knew there was no chance.

Then things got interesting. I hopped carefully off of the helipad in order to begin phase 2- the tower to the construction site.

I circled the roof searching for the parachute that spawns there, and when I found it, the only obstacle left in my way was the stairs down off the helipad. I ran around the stairs like I usually do- I still don't know why I don't just circle in the other direction- but this time my character tripped. He began to slide as I yowled "no, no, NOOOO!" and then slipped right off the edge of the building. But instead of falling to my doom, I fell flat onto the words "Maze Bank" built onto the roof. Figuring my would-be photo essay project DoA, I decided to snap a photo or two before flapping my arms futilely to my concrete-y doom.

<a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-8_zps01d47078.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-8_zps01d47078.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>
The FIB and IAA towers, <a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-9_zpsf3408590.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-9_zpsf3408590.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>
the tops of the FIB and IAA towers and the Vinewood sign, and <a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-10_zps76f8718b.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-10_zps76f8718b.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>
the best image I could assemble to try to explain where I was standing.

Thus prepared, I decided it was time to meet my maker. But before I flung myself off the edifice, I decided that since I'll likely die anyway, I'd just as surely die looking for a solution as I would by throwing myself out into thin-fuckin'-air, so why not give it a go?

I inched my way ever so carefully from the 'N' where I landed across the 'K' and to the bank logo, held my breath and hit the jump button. To my shock, I actually reached up and grabbed the logo, turned toward the face of the building and jumped again, pulling myself back onto the roof beneath the helipad. after catching my breath, I snapped a couple more:

<a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-11_zps8c83530f.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-11_zps8c83530f.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>
The spot on bank's sign where I stood wetting myself and <a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-12_zps1da06de6.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-12_zps1da06de6.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>
another, higher angle of the Vinewood sign and two federal cop buildings.

That done, it was time to move on, strap in and make my way to phase 2. <a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-14_zps334768ac.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-14_zps334768ac.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>

A little push later...
<a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-19_zps7606ca6b.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-19_zps7606ca6b.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>

And a quick look back before phase 3. <a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-20_zps6ab9a33c.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-20_zps6ab9a33c.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>
(hey, look! you can see the consonant I was stuck standing on for 15 minutes!)

Strapped into a fresh 'chute, I decided to snap a quick pic of my proposed landing zone for the final stretch. <a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-21_zps0c0ffc9f.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-21_zps0c0ffc9f.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>

A fair beginning as I hop out onto the air again. <a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-24_zpsc90231fe.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-24_zpsc90231fe.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>
And then things start to go south in a hurry. Now keep in mind that I'm doing a number of things at once- I'm piloting the most fragile aircraft in San Andreas where the slightest miscalculation means a sudden yet lingering death, I'm playing with my telephone, taking photos, deciding to save or delete each one as they are taken- and then I added one more task that appears to have been my undoing; altering my flight plan.

Instead of cruising directly to my preplanned landing zone, I decided to glide around the Union Depository. During the last photo, when the shutter effect activated, I wasn't totally aware of my surroundings and I turned too sharply. Instead of swinging around the side of the UD building, I ended up smacking right into it face first. I tried to save the photo, but falling to your death appears to quell the need to worry about the mundane applications of technology.

When I recovered from my unfortunate experience, I ran to the Union Depository to look of blood, bone and/or cracked pavement to mark my landing zone. I couldn't find it, but made a pretty good estimation based on some unique design elements I narrowly escaped cracking my skull open on on my way down. For the lot of good it did me.

Me at the landing zone, <a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-16_zpseedbd921.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-16_zpseedbd921.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>
the curious architecture that I just missed, <a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-30_zps9c089f9a.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-30_zps9c089f9a.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>
and the view as far up the building as I could manage. <a href="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-26_zps7aa689ca.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x420/El_Zo1212o/Pic%20Unrelated/0_0-26_zps7aa689ca.jpg" style="display: block; height: 360px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a>

So the end of this little adventure came much more abruptly than I would have hoped, but it still made a great story(or so I think).

The God Damn World series.

Horsies!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

A GTA Online photojournal

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